May all people be well (సర్వే జనః సుఖినో భవంతు)

24th June is my father's birthday. Recently there was something called father's day. Many of us remember and thank our parents on these days. I don't want to sound cynical, but I feel there is no day when we can forget the parents. And every moment we need to thank them. This soul and body were given by them, nurtured and molded by them. There is nothing which I can claim as mine and perhaps I don't exist without them and what is believed as "I" is also a form of my parents. 

My personality is 80% determined from the moment I was in the womb of my mother. There is little that can be changed significantly. The 20% that I can change is also dependent on the characteristics I acquired at the time of birth and based on that I can absorb what suits to me to change a little.  For example, what attracts me on the road while walking with my friends may not be the same as what each of my friends like. 

People talk about dynasty and ancestral property.They mean houses, lands and assets inherited from the family. But I got the kind of assets that are immortal. My father's wisdom and my mother's unconditional love  & affection extended to anyone and everyone;  are the assets I have today. From the point my father left me physically, I was experiencing him more. He was literally with me watching me, helping me, motivating me. In fact our interactions were quite minimum when he was with me. But all his good contributions to people with no expectations  were always behind me and shielded me. I got my first job, got the Support to execute Surety of 20000 Rs/- in 1989,  got Support when I was alone, always supported when I needed a break and what not. They were all very well addressed in timely manner,  when I came across some people who are also good and remembered the good deeds of my father. They never felt like repaying me, because they still had the gratitude towards my father. If I really look my life  so far,  I am not sure if I have earned even one such well-wisher.

Today I wanted to share a few things that I learnt from my father. My father wrote a story "జీవితం రెండర్థాల పాట" (The life is full of dual)  and he explained the gist of it in many discussions. He used to tell that the entire universe is balanced by the God and we never know what is the algorithm the god follows. I was too young and it was quite puzzling to me. I used to see one guy coming to our house every week, staying for entire day, completing Breakfast, lunch and dinner. He owed good amount of money to my father and would never return. In addition, he used to take the valuable time of father every week and he also used to cry with lot of grievances about everyone he met. I asked my father on how this account will be settled. He laughed and told the same thing - "జీవితం రెండర్థాల పాట". The god will balance everything and we need not get the account settled from the same person who borrows some thing from us. In the rest of my life I experienced the dual of life,  many times. There were many people who helped me without me being good to them. There were many others who tried to harm me irrespective of taking lot of help from me. If I look back, I feel everything is balanced. I also realized that the people who seemingly tried to hurt me, unknowingly did the biggest favors to me. For some of the readers what I say may still look ridiculous and funny but one needs to experience on own, to understand and appreciate.

My father and my elder brother also used to tell me that whatever I meticulously plan and expect the results were all materialistic (వ్యావహారికం). At the end what is destined will happen and the God is the only one whom we need to rely on. My brother told a simple truth that trust the god and do well. The results are on their way. If our fate is decided or changed it is the God who can do it. 

The best lesson I learnt from my father was about NOT earning more than what we need. He was a communist and shifted to practicing Maharshi Mahesh Yogi's Transcendental Meditation. But he still practiced some good preaching of Karl Marx. The principle of socialism is that no one should earn more than what is needed and it is a sin if you do. And the reasons for all the extreme economies, unrest and crime are because of the imbalance of economy. Our ancestors told “సర్వే జనః సుఖినో భవంతు " (May all people be well)  before Karl Marx and whosoever talked about the above principle. My mother always ensured that my maids, milk man, laundry man, sweepers and all others (who serve us one way or other way), are all well treated. On a festival my maids get clothes and all special food items that we made on that day. Every year, my mother buys saris (Sari is an Indian outfit) and shirts for the maids. Whenever we are eating, she offered food to whoever visited at that time. People say this is all hospitality.  It may be true as well. But the real intent is that everyone must be happy and you alone cant think about being happy and enjoy every piece. In other words in this God gifted world, everyone has to have their share and have right to enjoy the God's offerings.

In support of my mother's philosophy, my father gave the examples. In a house where we stay we have rats, cats, ants, a dog and it's puppies, some caterpillars and many more. While we have a registered document for ownership of the property, all these creatures also believe the property belongs to them. And they too get kids, relatives, visitors, family life and deaths. When he gave this insight my mindset changed a lot. I never killed any creatures in my (???) house. Instead I tried to move them to a place where they are safe. I am glad more than me, my kid is quite concerned. He would not allow me to do any harm to any creature and instead he fights for their rights.  My daughter fought with me to bring up a Dog. When I said the dog is not disciplined and may spoil our rooms and other places, she said we will train her. On top of it, she questioned about how me and my wife trained her, when she too didnt know anything at the time of birth. I had to agree and after changing to this mindset, the kind of peace I had, can not be expressed in words. If I see the dog spoils my portico, I dont mind. When my kid was doing this, and when I can tolerate this, why cant I do the same for my (now it is my) dog? The life is much bigger than money, career and ego. It is all about feelings and emotions. If we have good emotions it keeps us peaceful. And when every one can be happy, the world is happy. No crime, no terrorists, no anti-socials and there is only happiness.

What a great lesson taught and practiced by my parents (and my kids)?