24th June is my father's birthday. I have so many memories which can last till my end. But there are a few things which I didn't share with anyone.Today I can talk about this. Earlier I was afraid or to be honest I was egoistic not to share my experiences.
My father physically left when I was preparing for Final Year exams which were just 20 days away. It was a shock for me when I could not even meet my father in the last minutes as I was doing combined studies elsewhere. My father probably knew and last sentence he told to my mother was "Don't worry" and he went in to meditation. By the time he was taken to hospital they declared he was no more.
It was a shock for me and due to many rituals required in my community I didn't even continue my studies till 1 day before the start of exams. Thanks to all my friends who stood by me and they too ignored their studies and helped me. Even in studies they were with me. We studied every night and slept in the afternoon after giving the exams. The routine continued till exams are over. The fact that I still did well in the exams prove that the foundation given by my professors and father was sufficient to the extent that I didn't need last minute preparations.
After I was impacted by some of the remarks about my father from some of the well wishers, although I didn't pay much attention I experienced the reality later. When I went to Kharagpur, it was my first travel independently. I was already down with my father leaving us, and these first time activities were putting more pressure. I was so scared that I sincerely believed that my berth in the train would be occupied by someone, and I was wondering on how to deal such cases. Luckily there were no such issues :). To come out of loneliness I tried to be as cheerful as possible and made as many friends as possible. I thought I earned lot of friends and wisdom after I joined IIT Kharagpur. But job was still in my mind as we were having some insecure feeling about our financial status. Many well wishers commented during the rituals to my father, that my father didnt leave any property or funds for me. Some even criticized him for spending all earnings for others either his brothers& sister or his friends. There were a few who told that my father is not a practical man, trusted everyone and helped them without planning for future. I used to be confused because my father told me to trust everyone till I am cheated. It is one input I have been following till date. I had a few bitter experiences but still my father's logic is that the damage is more, if I do not trust a genuine person than trusting everyone by default.
I applied for every job that appeared in the News paper ads. Attended 3,4 interviews and NTPC was one of them. I did the interview for about 10 minutes and didn't understand whether I did well or not. But within a few weeks I received the offer letter. I was the first to get job and was very proud about it. I needed to execute a Surety Bond for 20000 Rs/- (during 1989 it was a big amount). But I was confident about getting the surety as I had many friends and only friends. Many of my friends were actually employees of some organizations and joined as research scholars through their organizations. For me, I needed some one who has PAN number and can sign the surety document.
My confidence was completely lost because none of the friends proved to be good enough to help me. Some people said they were asked not to sign by their astrologers. Some said they dont remember their PAN number. at the end, I was still roaming 1 day before my travel to Delhi to join NTPC.That was when I met one of my professors who was doing research. He asked me on what was my problem and simply asked me to meet him at home with filled document. When I went to him next day he signed the document in the places marked for signatures. I asked him to read the document. He told me that my father never did that while helping him. He also told me that my father gave for a surety of 1 rupees and there was no need for me to thank him.
I realized what my father left for me.
When I went to join in NTPC, the personal officer told me that one Mr. Sastry was asking about me every day. I had no clue about who is Mr. Sastry. When I spoke to him he said he is childhood friend of my father and asked me to meet him in gulabibagh. When I met him I realized that Mr.Sastry was the Panel head who interviewed me for NTPC. He actually noticed my fathers features and checked my details to confirm it. He helped me while I was in Delhi.
I was posted in the border of India close to Bangladesh and due to all memories of losing my father I used to be alone. that's when I met Chandrasekhar who was fan of my father. My father taught him meditation because of which he was relieved from long term Asthma. Once he knew my identity he took care of me till my mother joined me.
In the all the sequence of events, I felt as if my father was behind me taking care of me at every step. My father by all means lived a practical life in spiritual sense. The statement looks puzzling but he reached a spiritual level from where he believed the god in true spirit. In the last few minutes he didn't bother about seeing his kids, didn't want to do any handing over. All he said to my mother was "Don't worry". And he went in to transcendental meditation which he tried to teach everyone in the world for the benefit of universe.
I realized that I still need to earn on my own and is still living on what my father left for me.
All I can do is just follow him to reach atleast 10 percent of what he reached.
My father physically left when I was preparing for Final Year exams which were just 20 days away. It was a shock for me when I could not even meet my father in the last minutes as I was doing combined studies elsewhere. My father probably knew and last sentence he told to my mother was "Don't worry" and he went in to meditation. By the time he was taken to hospital they declared he was no more.
It was a shock for me and due to many rituals required in my community I didn't even continue my studies till 1 day before the start of exams. Thanks to all my friends who stood by me and they too ignored their studies and helped me. Even in studies they were with me. We studied every night and slept in the afternoon after giving the exams. The routine continued till exams are over. The fact that I still did well in the exams prove that the foundation given by my professors and father was sufficient to the extent that I didn't need last minute preparations.
After I was impacted by some of the remarks about my father from some of the well wishers, although I didn't pay much attention I experienced the reality later. When I went to Kharagpur, it was my first travel independently. I was already down with my father leaving us, and these first time activities were putting more pressure. I was so scared that I sincerely believed that my berth in the train would be occupied by someone, and I was wondering on how to deal such cases. Luckily there were no such issues :). To come out of loneliness I tried to be as cheerful as possible and made as many friends as possible. I thought I earned lot of friends and wisdom after I joined IIT Kharagpur. But job was still in my mind as we were having some insecure feeling about our financial status. Many well wishers commented during the rituals to my father, that my father didnt leave any property or funds for me. Some even criticized him for spending all earnings for others either his brothers& sister or his friends. There were a few who told that my father is not a practical man, trusted everyone and helped them without planning for future. I used to be confused because my father told me to trust everyone till I am cheated. It is one input I have been following till date. I had a few bitter experiences but still my father's logic is that the damage is more, if I do not trust a genuine person than trusting everyone by default.
I applied for every job that appeared in the News paper ads. Attended 3,4 interviews and NTPC was one of them. I did the interview for about 10 minutes and didn't understand whether I did well or not. But within a few weeks I received the offer letter. I was the first to get job and was very proud about it. I needed to execute a Surety Bond for 20000 Rs/- (during 1989 it was a big amount). But I was confident about getting the surety as I had many friends and only friends. Many of my friends were actually employees of some organizations and joined as research scholars through their organizations. For me, I needed some one who has PAN number and can sign the surety document.
My confidence was completely lost because none of the friends proved to be good enough to help me. Some people said they were asked not to sign by their astrologers. Some said they dont remember their PAN number. at the end, I was still roaming 1 day before my travel to Delhi to join NTPC.That was when I met one of my professors who was doing research. He asked me on what was my problem and simply asked me to meet him at home with filled document. When I went to him next day he signed the document in the places marked for signatures. I asked him to read the document. He told me that my father never did that while helping him. He also told me that my father gave for a surety of 1 rupees and there was no need for me to thank him.
I realized what my father left for me.
When I went to join in NTPC, the personal officer told me that one Mr. Sastry was asking about me every day. I had no clue about who is Mr. Sastry. When I spoke to him he said he is childhood friend of my father and asked me to meet him in gulabibagh. When I met him I realized that Mr.Sastry was the Panel head who interviewed me for NTPC. He actually noticed my fathers features and checked my details to confirm it. He helped me while I was in Delhi.
I was posted in the border of India close to Bangladesh and due to all memories of losing my father I used to be alone. that's when I met Chandrasekhar who was fan of my father. My father taught him meditation because of which he was relieved from long term Asthma. Once he knew my identity he took care of me till my mother joined me.
In the all the sequence of events, I felt as if my father was behind me taking care of me at every step. My father by all means lived a practical life in spiritual sense. The statement looks puzzling but he reached a spiritual level from where he believed the god in true spirit. In the last few minutes he didn't bother about seeing his kids, didn't want to do any handing over. All he said to my mother was "Don't worry". And he went in to transcendental meditation which he tried to teach everyone in the world for the benefit of universe.
I realized that I still need to earn on my own and is still living on what my father left for me.
All I can do is just follow him to reach atleast 10 percent of what he reached.
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